I’ve always loved to draw. From the time I was young to now, I’ve always had a creative spark in me. I find it to be extremely fun and relaxing (even if I’m annoyed with how the product is turning out to look like).
I’ve been drawing almost every day for about a week now and I’ve found myself to be so happy and lost in a world that I haven’t visited in a long time that I crave more.
I haven’t had this feeling in so long and I need more.
But then I wondered to myself, “What is this feeling?” Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad to have it, but what is this actual feeling? I thought about it and then I came to the conclusion: joy.
Now, if you knew me personally and some of the things going on in my life, you’d know that I haven’t experienced joy like this in quite some time. Yes, I find pockets and moments and those are of course just as precious and important, but this feeling of doing something I’ve always loved and had stopped for one reason or another to only pick up again and see myself improving and having fun doing so?
Yeah, that’s joy.
And I kind of just wanted to talk about that today because I don’t know about you, but I feel a lot of my generation is having a lot of trouble finding joy in life. Like, actual, pure joy. Something that makes our hearts sing and makes us feel so happy and content in the moment that we want to continually go back to those moments over and over and over again.
Finding what you love to do and actually finding the time to do so can be two wildly difficult things to accomplish. I’ve been searching for a purpose for quite some time now, trying to pinpoint something that can bring me happiness in my stressful world, and I found it once again in art. It’s great having people appreciate my art, complimenting me and telling me I’m improving, giving me tips if they’re artists themselves on how to improve a bit more, and then just people who like my art for the art itself. I find joy in that feeling of bringing other people happiness, for sure, and I want to continue to grab it.
And then there are the nay-sayers. The ones who will say, “Oh it’s great that you have that and everything, but what about real life?” I know of one very significant person in my life who is like that, and I let their words affect me all the time. I don’t think that you should put the things that you love so far on the back burner that they become a distant memory. In fact, I hate that with every fiber of my being. I know I’ve stated in a post before about how I put off art for some time and that each time I did draw I would feel this incessant urge to continue to draw and create more and more and more, but I never really hooked myself on that. I never took that step to really sit down and do it.
And now that I have been, I don’t want to let it go.
See, now, I’m the kind of person that puts everyone before myself. I’m still a selfish brat, but I still put others before me in almost all things. So when I say that I’ve been thinking about wanting to do art full-time, or at least start part-time, I get scared. Not only will it affect me, but it will also affect my husband. I’m afraid that if I were to pursue this kind of thing that it would be just too much all at once. He says I should just Shia Labeouf it and JUST DO IT, but it’s extremely difficult for me to do that without taking SO many things into consideration.
And then there’s the part of me that looks back at that joy and that feeling I get when I’m drawing and I think, “Yeah, I want to do this. I really, really want to do this.” I want to improve my art skills, become better at multiple mediums, really showcase my style and show that I’m better than mediocre. I want to be able to have fun and do something I love in life that isn’t just a hobby, that isn’t something I just come home to from a job I couldn’t really care about.
I don’t know about you, but finding that joy and latching onto it, is such a beautiful thing. I know that I have obstacles to overcome (like the biggest one that every artist ever faces: comparing my art to others, ughhhhh), a lot of research to do, and a lot of saving up to do, but this is something that I’ve been becoming more and more serious about as time passes. And frankly, my happiness should really start to be coming first.
Anyway, that’s what I wanted to talk about today. My thoughts are probably all over the place, but I needed to express it somewhere and what better place than here, right? Also, if you want to check out my art, you should check out my art instagram!
Let’s Chat! ^w^
Do you ever face these kinds of problems of finding joy in your life in something you love to do, but not really doing anything about it? Do you consider it just a hobby or do you wish you could make it something you do day in and day out? What are some of the things that really bring you joy in life? Tell me all the things!