Before I Let Go Review

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Title: Before I Let Go
Author: Kennedy Ryan
Publisher: Forever
Publish Date: November 15, 2022
Genre: Adult Romance
Pages: 391
Format: Paperback

Their love was supposed to last forever. But when life delivered blow after devastating blow, Yasmen and Josiah Wade found that love alone couldn’t solve or save everything.

It couldn’t save their marriage.

Yasmen wasn’t prepared for how her life fell apart, but she is finally starting to find joy again. She and Josiah have found a new rhythm, co-parenting their two kids and running a thriving business together. Yet like magnets, they’re always drawn back to each other, and now they’re beginning to wonder if they’re truly ready to let go of everything they once had.

Soon, one stolen kiss leads to another…and then more. It’s hot. It’s illicit. It’s all good—until old wounds reopen. Is it too late for them to find forever? Or could they even be better, the second time around?

Content warning for child loss.

This was my first dip into romance in quite a while, and it did not disappoint. Kennedy Ryan has a great way of writing realistic characters going through realistic situations, and how those characters handle the hurdles, the joys, the sorrows that come with that are really well done in this novel.

In this book we follow two perspectives throughout: Yasmen’s and Josiah’s. They’re a relatively-recently divorced couple who went through something traumatic that caused their marriage to fall apart, but the connection and spark between them is still there, dulled as it is at the beginning of the story. Throughout the story, we see the couple dealing not only with their everyday workflow and responsibilities as parents, but as co-owners of a restaurant, and how that proximity can really have an effect on old feelings that never truly went away.

As we follow Yasmen’s side of it, I could see how strong of a woman she was, trying to mend the pieces of herself that were broken from what had happened years prior and finally feeling like she was coming back to herself. In these chapters we see her really assess what happened then that caused the couple to split, while also seeing her rely on her best friends for support, as well as a therapist, to really deal with what went down.

Not only that, but even in Josiah’s chapters we see some of that therapy talk brought up. It’s a heavy theme throughout the book to rely on others for strength and comfort and to not always rely on the self for that, to bury things down until they don’t matter anymore. I think that that representation was shown really well and encourages others to maybe reflect on their own lives and consider therapy as possible. Because not only does it affect Yasmen and Josiah, but their kids, too, and how important it is for them to talk to someone as well.

The plot follows them through this second chance romance, through ups and downs – and of course, steamy moments – and shows what love is truly capable of. Relationships are hard work, and I think the two really realize that as time goes on – especially Yasmen, who I think was hit the hardest with what had happened that had caused the divorce in the first place.

Another aspect I loved was the strong feeling of sisterhood and friendship in this book (and in the sequel, This Could Be Us). Yasmen, Solidad, and Hendrix have each other’s backs through everything and are willing to be there for each other in times of need when it’s really needed, or just to be able to get their mind off of things. I could feel the palpable love of these friends pouring off of the page. Even the relationship with the kids are something very tangible and real, and I think that Ryan does a great job of this in this book.

My only gripe is that as we were getting toward the end, there were a few times I felt that the plot became repetitive, like we had seen a similar scene not long before, and more than once, too.

Overall, I think that if you’re looking for a great second chance romance, a romance to touch your heart, or one in which you’ve also gone through similar circumstances, that you’ll really enjoy this book. I loved it, and absolutely recommend it.

★★★★.5 (4.5) stars

Legendborn Review

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Title: Legendborn
Author: Tracy Deonn
Publisher: Margaret K. McElderry Books
Publish Date: February 1, 2022
Genre: Young Adult, Urban Fantasy, Retelling (Arthurian)
Pages: 501
Format: Paperback

Filled with mystery and an intriguingly rich magic system, Tracy Deonn’s YA contemporary fantasy reinvents the King Arthur legend and “braids together Southern folk traditions and Black Girl Magic into a searing modern tale of grief, power, and self-discovery” (Dhonielle Clayton, New York Times bestselling author of The Belles ).

After her mother dies in an accident, sixteen-year-old Bree Matthews wants nothing to do with her family memories or childhood home. A residential program for bright high schoolers at UNC–Chapel Hill seems like the perfect escape—until Bree witnesses a magical attack her very first night on campus.

A flying demon feeding on human energies.

A secret society of so called “Legendborn” students that hunt the creatures down.

And a mysterious teenage mage who calls himself a “Merlin” and who attempts—and fails—to wipe Bree’s memory of everything she saw.

The mage’s failure unlocks Bree’s own unique magic and a buried memory with a hidden the night her mother died, another Merlin was at the hospital. Now that Bree knows there’s more to her mother’s death than what’s on the police report, she’ll do whatever it takes to find out the truth, even if that means infiltrating the Legendborn as one of their initiates.

She recruits Nick, a self-exiled Legendborn with his own grudge against the group, and their reluctant partnership pulls them deeper into the society’s secrets—and closer to each other. But when the Legendborn reveal themselves as the descendants of King Arthur’s knights and explain that a magical war is coming, Bree has to decide how far she’ll go for the truth and whether she should use her magic to take the society down—or join the fight.

I’ve never read an Arthurian retelling before, but Legendborn did a phenomenal job of implementing what Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable was in a modern twist and feat of storytelling. I read this book back in February of this year (2024), and my only regret is I didn’t read it sooner. This story really captivated me and captured my heart in a way I wasn’t expecting.

This story follows a teenager named Bree who just went through one of the worst things to happen to someone so young (or anyone, depending on your relationship): losing her mother. Though the circumstances around her mother’s death doesn’t sit right with her, and so once she is able to enroll in a college program that allows high schoolers to take college level classes alongside her best friend, she begins her search for answers into her mother’s death. All the while, she’s put aside her grief, which is sad in the way that she’s not feeling what she needs to feel about it. She doesn’t allow herself that because she hates the way it makes her feel (understandably – I’ve been there with my own mom, though a very different situation).

In this story we see Bree begin to see and experience things she doesn’t have an answer for. Creatures that shouldn’t exist; people using magic or fighting skills that are beyond what a “normal” teenager should be able to do. And so she is thrust into a secret society on campus that revolves around the myth of King Arthur and his Knights of the Roundtable. Bree infiltrates the society because she believes they hold clues to her mother’s death, though she’s in for a lot more than she bargained for. She trains and joins the society, getting closer to those involved while also dealing with school, racism, and pushing her grief to the side.

Alongside this, Bree learns more about her mother and her maternal lineage. This part of the story really grabbed me because she learned so much about what it is to be a young black woman in the world, as well as what her ancestors had to go through – as well as their ties to this Arthurian society. In this, she also learned what her grief was, and though grief is a never ending thing and comes and goes in ways that you might not even imagine, it was something that she needed to feel in those moments to be able to process that her mother is gone, and that she is strong enough to get through it.

There’s also a bit of a side plot following a romance with Bree and one of the boys in this society – the one believed to be Arthur’s descendant – and I found their romance to be very cute and sweet. The two were often very kind to each other, and very drawn to each other in a way that couldn’t be explained.

And then, of course, there’s another character who is the descendent of Merlin who I’m honestly rooting for lol The two are sassy with each other, honestly kind of hate each other at the beginning, but warm up (mostly) over time.

The plot was layered, fast-paced, and each chapter had me wanting to know what was going to happen next. There were twists I wasn’t expecting, moments that made me cry actual tears, made me cheer or laugh out loud, and more. It’s been one of my top reads of the year, if not THE top. I can’t wait to dive into book two. I highly recommend this book if you’re looking for a fast-paced read filled with action, inner turmoil, magic, and learning to accept things that otherwise can’t be changed.

★★★★★

Barbarian Alien Review

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Title: Barbarian Alien
Author: Ruby Dixon
Publisher: Berkley
Publish Date: January 25, 2022
Genre: Science Fiction, Romance
Pages: 336
Format: Paperback

Liz Cramer swears she’ll find a way off of this alien planet she’s stuck on–then she meets Raahosh, the surliest and stubbornest alien, who won’t leave her alone, and she just might be okay with that…

Twelve humans are left stranded on a wintry alien planet. I’m one of them. Yay, me.
In order to survive, we have to take on a symbiont that wants to rewire our bodies to live in this brutal place. I like to call it a “cootie.” And my cootie’s a jerk, because it also thinks I’m the mate to the biggest, grumpiest alien of the group. Raahosh believes the cootie’s right, so he steals me away from the group, determined to make me fall for him–or else.

He has no idea who he’s up against.

And if I didn’t want his insufferable self so much (thanks, cootie), I’d let him know exactly what I’m thinking. As it is, I’m doing my best to fight this instant attraction. Just because the symbiont thinks we’re supposed to be together doesn’t mean I have to go along with it. And if we fool around a little, it’s merely biology. It doesn’t mean I’m in love–or that I’m destined to be his.

(I read this back in January, so this is a bit late lol) The second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series follows a different girl and alien pair with Liz, a speak-your-mind kind of girl who’s very up front about what she thinks and feels, as well as Raahosh, an alien man who’s quiet and brutish in ways. This series is very much a guilty pleasure, and it introduces more plot from the first, but the focus is very heavy on the two who are secluded for a large portion of the book that’s separate from the plot thread throughout.

Liz’s character grated on me a bit as one of her flaws was overreacting to many things that were said or done throughout the story. In many ways she was creating her own chaos and I was like, “Girl, please, stop it.” She was very strong willed, and though the circumstances all of the girls find themselves in is strenuous, Liz always tries to find a way to cheer the others up, which is a trait I liked, even if her ways were oftentimes kind of out there with how she would say things. I sometimes found myself confused by the way she would say something, but the meaning behind it, especially toward the other girls, came from a good place.

Raahosh was the better part of this particular pair in my opinion. Though the way he went about bringing him and Liz together wasn’t the best choice in the moment, it turned into a strong bond between the two. He was a skilled hunter and wouldn’t hold Liz back from doing what she wanted (mostly because he wouldn’t be able to lol). I thought he was overall sweet yet desperate in a way that showed how much the symbiote makes those who pair up resonate with another are really made for one another. The two balance each other out, which is something I think Dixon really strived for in these stories.

The plot focused heavily around the pair secluded from the rest of the group, and, much like the other books, was filled with varying sex scenes that were steamy. It seemed like this one was more about the beginning of what it would be like when true winter comes to the ice planet, but it was really just about those two learning about themselves and each other, and respecting one another.

Overall, it wasn’t my favorite so far because I did find Liz’s character to be… annoying, frankly. But if you’re reading the series, obviously since this is only the second book, I’d still read it in order to see where the threads of plot are going – though those really take off in book three.

★★★☆☆

February 2024 TBR

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Wow, January is finally over! Does anyone else ever feel like it lasts 84 years? So I didn’t finish or get to all of the books I had set out to read last month, which is fine, but I decided I’m still going to make a TBR to at least talk about the books I’m interested in reading and hopefully will get to.

As February is also Black History Month, I also want to be intentional with my choices and read books by black authors. This choice isn’t going to start and stop in February, though, as I will continue to read books by black authors throughout the year and beyond. This will continue for other months in which heritages and identities are recognized, as I want to continue to diversify my reading and broaden my horizons.

The Sword of Kaigen by M.L. Wang – This book is one from my TBR last month and is the book I’m currently reading, so I want to finish it before moving on to another book. I’m only about 80 pages into it, but it’s an interesting read so far! I’m excited to see where it goes.

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn – This was another book on my TBR last month, but as I didn’t get to it, I’m slotting it over into February. This book is an Arthurian retelling, which I’ve never read about before, and so I’m definitely intrigued to read about it and see how I like it.

Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler – Now I’ve heard amazing things about Butler for a long time, but I’ve never picked up one of her books before. This one takes place in 2024, and it’s about climate change and the effects of how economic strife can be so harmful to everyone and everything around it.

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jeminsin – This start to a fantasy trilogy has been on my shelf for years (well, the whole trilogy) and I haven’t started it, BUT I’m going to rectify that this year and actually do it! It’s a critically acclaimed and award winning book, so I’m a bit intimidated by that, however I hear fantastic things about it. Just reading the synopsis alone has me dying for more, so I can’t wait to get to this.

The Black Kids by Christina Hammonds Reed – I’m trying to bring in more contemporary reads into my life, as most of my focus is on fantasy, so I figured this would be a good one to add! It centers a young black girl in high school and protesting and riots after officers from the LAPD are acquitted after beating a black man half to death. It sounds very hard hitting, and very important, too.

Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan – I’ve seen this pop up around TikTok a lot lately, and after reading the synopsis (and wanting more contemporary in my reading), I think this would be a fun, dramatic, and spicy read. It’s like a second chance romance between a once husband and wife pair, so I’m definitely interested to see how it plays out.

Now, will I get to all of these books? I hope so honestly. Trying to get back into reading after the hard time I’ve had with it for years is already a challenge, and I’m further challenging myself by listing all of these books that I’m interested in as part of my TBR. I do hope to get to all of them, though, but if I don’t I’ll probably do the same thing as last time and push one or two I’m interested in into the next month.

What’re you reading currently or planning to read this month? Any recommendations you have that you think I might like to try out for myself? Let me know!

Vox Machina: Kith & Kin | Book Review

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Title: Vox Machina: Kith & Kin
Author: Marieke Nijkamp
Publisher: Del Rey
Publish Date: November 30, 2021
Genre: Fantasy, Adventure
Pages: 368
Format: Hardcover

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Explore the past of Critical Role’s daring half-elf twins, Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan, in this original prequel novel to their adventures with Vox Machina.
 
Vex and Vax have always been outsiders. A harsh childhood in the elite elven city of Syngorn quickly taught them not to rely on others. Now, freed from the expectations of their exacting father and the scornful eyes of Syngorn’s elves, the cunning hunter and the conning thief have made their own way in the world of Exandria. 
 
The twins have traveled far and experienced great hardship. But with the help of Vex’s quick wit and Vax’s quicker dagger, they’ve always kept ahead of trouble. Now, unknown perils await them in the bustling city of Westruun, where the twins become entangled in a web spun by the thieves’ guild known to many as the Clasp. Trapped by a hasty deal, Vex and Vax (along with Vex’s faithful bear companion, Trinket) set out into the wilds to fulfill their debt to the infamous crime syndicate. 
 
As the situation grows more complicated than they ever could have imagined, for the first time Vex and Vax find themselves on opposite sides of a conflict that threatens the home they have carried with each other for years.
 
Written by #1 New York Times bestselling author Marieke Nijkamp, Critical Role: Vox Machina—Kith & Kin follows a brand-new adventure that delves into the twins’ unexplored history, and returns to some of the iconic moments that forged Vox Machina’s most unbreakable bond.

Following another book from one of my favorite shows, Critical Role, we follow the twins from campaign one, Vex and Vax, on a journey before their time with Vox Machina. This story takes place over their lifetime, jumping from the present day to moments in the past where events would reflect each other in ways that made you understand why they were happening or give more insight into how things came to be the way they are.

As I stated in my The Nine Eyes of Lucien review, I love to read about character backstories, especially of ones that I care about. As of writing this review, I haven’t finished campaign one yet, but I know the twins and that they’re a chaotic duo who are thick as thieves and would do anything to protect the other. Which, we love to see such a strong family dynamic, but it’s also a dynamic that can and will be used against them time and time again throughout their lives.

In this book, though, we switch between alternating points of view, following either Vex’ahlia through her actions and thoughts, or from Vax’ildan’s thoughts and actions, and I think that it was a delicate balance of the two that was woven well into the story. Though, I also feel like we definitely saw more of Vex’s point of view than that of her brother, but in ways it made sense, especially for the scenes that were playing out before us.

The parts of the book that takes place in the present follows them over just a short series of a couple of weeks, where Vex finds herself in trouble and being targeted by someone who was paid by a noble to have her caught and brought to him, but Vax is never far behind his sister and ends up apprehending the person following her – which causes him to be caught himself and get himself into a situation that he doesn’t have much choice of getting out of if it means protecting his sister.

The parts that take part in the past flow over a time period of about five or six years, following the twins from the time they were about ten years old until they were sixteen and showed the cruelness that can come from growing up unwanted by a singular parent – and their entire community around them – while also showing the softer moments of learning about the self and discovering that there’s more to the world that what’s been shown to them so far.

I found the pacing of the book to be stunted in ways. I found myself not completely drawn into the story, but I chock that up to not being as attached to these characters as I am The Mighty Nein characters. However, there were moments where the plot was fast paced and full of action, bringing you into the moments and wanting to see how it played out, and moments that were slower and calmer that allowed you to be able to soak in the moment in question.

Vex is a strong willed woman who is always seeking approval from those around her, and always has her walls up as a result because there is more than one occasion where she was put down by those she tried to make proud. I liked that we got to see her in the early stages of becoming a ranger (D&D class) and how she learned how to track, hide objects, and befriend Trinket – her bear companion.

Vax is an impulsive man who acts on a whim and tries to blend in with the shadows, always going against the grain of what’s expected of him. He’s cunning and smart, though he puts himself down in ways that compare him to his sister, whom he holds in such high regard.

The contrast between the two is apparent in the campaign setting as well as the book, and I highly appreciate that. They bounce off one another effortlessly, and they have a bond that almost transcends time itself. It’s one of my favorite parts of the book, even when the story itself wasn’t engaging me as much as I had wanted it to. There were moments I was full in on, and others I found myself pushing through to get to the next chapter.

Overall, though, I did enjoy the book, though less that I was imagining. I recommend this book if you’re a fan of Vox Machina or Critical Role, and I also recommend it to those who don’t know what the show is about but are looking for an adventure with siblings and high stakes involved.

★★★.5☆☆ (3.5 stars)